


Nothing but the Truth

by goodluckgettingtosleep



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Magic Revealed, Post-Season/Series 04 AU, Truth Serum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After almost eight years of being Arthur’s manservant and friend, Merlin was pretty certain that he’d seen almost everything and that nothing could truly surprise him anymore. Goblins, trolls, love spells, donkeys - he'd seen it all. But nothing could have prepared him for this: Arthur under the influence of a truth serum that showed them all just how much the king liked to keep to himself. Usually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing but the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished my first Merlin / Merthur fic!  
> This has probably been done a million times before, but I wanted to give it a shot anyway.  
> The story is not beta read, so please excuse any grammar errors or mistakes. (If you find any grave mistakes, please send me a message, so I can correct them!)

Merlin had long gotten used to the fact that his life in Camelot was anything but boring or uneventful. In fact, after almost eight years of being Arthur’s manservant (and secret personal, magical bodyguard) and friend, Merlin was pretty certain that he’d seen almost everything and that nothing could truly surprise him anymore. He’d seen Uther marrying a troll, a Goblin possessing Gaius, Arthur with Donkey ears braying about, love spells, possessed princesses, witches and sorcerers in all kinds of disguise – but nothing could have prepared him for _this. This_ being Arthur under the influence of a truth serum that showed them all just how much the king liked to keep to himself. Usually.

It was a disaster, truly. Merlin was only glad that he, Gwen and Gaius were the only ones to witness their king babbling about things he'd otherwise never have told a soul – and had very good reasons not to. But that was about the only thing he was glad about.

He’d been certain about a lot of things, thought that he knew Arthur in and out and had he been right, he’d probably have laughed about the incident, shrugged it off as another crazy day in Camelot. But as it turned out, Arthur was quite good at hiding truths about himself – and his feelings. And so, that dreadful day in Camelot ended in nothing but tears. Well, not literally. But Merlin knew they all felt a bit like crying.

It had all started with a flu epidemic in the lower town that required Gaius’ sole attention – causing the old man to sleep much less than he should have and looking a bit like a scared up crow with deep, dark circles under his eyes. With Merlin’s help, he managed to get the epidemic under control after a few days, but the exhaustion stayed visible on the physician’s face. Sleep deprived as he was, Merlin almost had to carry him up to Arthur’s chambers when the king requested his presence one morning in need of something that would ease his sore muscles from the tourney the day before.

Gaius hadn’t slept all night and neither had Merlin, but Merlin was, after all, several decades younger and consequently way more agile than the old man.

Arthur just made a face at them and swallowed the potion Gaius handed him a bit more grumpily than usual in one gulp.

… And then the disaster had taken its course.

 

* * *

 

Arthur’s eyes rolled back and he shook his head, shaking his limbs as he swallowed the liquid – something that wasn't unusual, really. Gaius’s potions were sometimes so disgusting that Merlin wondered why his patients didn’t throw up more frequently after drinking them. But they usually did help, and that was probably why most of them just forced themselves to keep it in. Especially in winter, most people in Camelot couldn’t afford emptying their stomachs like that anyway. They needed to keep their food in or risk starving.

“Gaius. That was disgusting,” Arthur said flippantly after a few moments and handed the empty vial back into the physicians shaking hands. “Why do your potions always have to be so disgusting? Can’t you add some strawberry or something? I would appreciate it.”

Gaius, Merlin and Gwen frowned at him, a bit taken aback by their king’s tone. Arthur usually didn’t sound as much as a petulant child.

“My muscles are still aching. Why doesn’t it help?” Arthur whined.

Merlin exchanged a quick glance with Gwen, who looked just as confused as he felt.

“It takes a few minutes to take hold, Sire,” Gaius said with a low voice, steadying himself on Arthur’s desk.

Arthur shrugged and turned to Merlin. “Alright, then. Merlin, help me get dressed.”

Merlin blinked and almost started laughing, but found that he worried too much about his king’s mental state for that.

“Uhm… You already _are_ dressed, Sire,” he informed him and for a moment, Arthur looked at him like _he_ was the one behaving oddly.

“Yes, _Mer_ lin. But I don’t like this tunic. I want another one.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow, but did as he’d been told, grudgingly fetching a fresh, red tunic from the dresser. Sighing, he tugged at the hem of the one Arthur was wearing and helped him strip it off, his cold hands touching his warm skin along his sides like they often did when he helped him getting dressed - which had been almost every day in the past eight years. What Arthur had never done before, however, was purring like a pleased cat at the touch, causing Merlin’s cheeks to flush in a dark shade of pink. He stared at him in shock, unable to move for a few moments, before looking around Arthur to meet Gaius's tired eyes questioningly. _What was going on?_

Gwen came to stand next to him and took the fresh tunic from his hands, turning to her husband. Merlin didn’t even dare to look at her.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked her and Gwen gave him a soft smile.

“I’ll help you. Let Merlin bring Gaius back to his chambers. It’s obvious that he needs some good hours of sleep,” she said, but Arthur shook his head vehemently and snatched the garment away from her, handing it back over to Merlin.

“No. I want Merlin to do it. Why don’t you bring Gaius to his chambers?”

Merlin and Gwen both stared at him then, not quite sure if he was joking. He must be joking, right?

“Um, Gaius?” Merlin asked, carefully looking around Arthur again. Gaius was staring at the vial in his hands, cursing quietly under his breath.

“I – I'm afraid I must apologize, my Lord. My Lady. It seems that I have accidentally brought the wrong vial. I – I haven’t got much sleep, my Lady, I don’t know – I can only apologize.” Gaius stuttered and Merlin swore he had never seen him like that before. Gaius was always calm and steady. Gaius didn’t stutter – and especially did he not confuse his potions. He must be _really_ tired, Merlin thought.

“What have you given him?” Gwen demanded to know and Gaius swayed a bit as he stepped closer.

“I’m afraid it was a truth serum, my Lady.”

“A _truth_ serum?” Gwen’s eyes widened and a look of hurt flickered over her soft features. Merlin couldn’t blame her.

Gaius nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Ah, the truth serum that I requested,” Arthur said and all heads turned to him. “Why did you give it to me? I wanted to use it on Merlin so I could finally find out what secret he’s keeping from me. What secret _are_ you keeping from me, Merlin?”

Merlin felt his throat tighten a little and he cleared it, averting his eyes.

“No secret, Sire,” he said, his voice sounding hoarse and foreign. He was good at hiding things, but very bad at actually _telling_ lies.

“Stop calling me that, will you? You are _my…”_ Arthur paused before shaking his head a little and continuing: “ _My Merlin_ , I don’t want you to be so formal. And I know you’re hiding something. I came looking for you in the tavern last week and the bartender said he’d never even seen you there, except for the times you’ve been there with me. That means you had Gaius lying for you all the time. Where have you really been, _Mer_ lin?”

Merlin took a step back, clutching the tunic tightly in his hands. He raised an eyebrow.

“I am _your_ _Merlin_ now?”

“Of course you are. Now stop beating around the bush. Where have you been? What are you hiding?”

Merlin took another step back and decided that this was already the worst day in a very, very long time. “Um… I have been collecting herbs for Gaius?” he said weakly. Arthur didn’t buy it.

“Horseshit!” he said and that was when Gwen stepped in. _Thank the gods,_ Merlin thought.

“All right, that’s enough. Perhaps we should get you back to bed, Arthur. Sleep the serum off before you say any more things I know you don’t really want to say.”

“But I’m not tired!” Arthur protested and waved his hands before turning back to Merlin. “Merlin, get me dressed.”

Merlin sighed and stepped back forward, reluctantly helping Arthur into the fresh tunic, careful this time not to touch him. When he was done, Arthur pouted – _he pouted_ – and reached for Merlin’s hand. “You know, I like it when you accidentally touch me when you help me getting dressed. It feels good, even though your fingers are like ice sticks most of the time. _Is it_ accidentally?”

Merlin blushed again and pulled his hand back. “O- of – of course!” he brought out and resisted the urge to just turn and run. Gwen gave him a look he couldn’t quite interpret and stepped forward to grab Arthur’s upper arms and rub them gently.

“See what you do? Poor Merlin looks like wants to vanish from the ground of the earth,” she said softly and Merlin admired her for her calm and understanding tone. Then she turned to Gaius. “How long will it take hold?”

“Up to one day, my Lady.”

Gwen nodded. “All right. He needs to stay here as long as he’s under its influence. Gaius, I need you to tell the council that he’s fallen sick and needs rest. No one is to visit him, either. This has to stay between the four of us.”

Gaius nodded and straightened himself up, suddenly looking more awake again than he had before – only because he _had to –_ and turned to leave.

“I will do it right away, my Lady. I hope you accept my apology.”

“Of course, Gaius.” Gwen said with a soft smile and then turned her attention back to her husband.

“I can’t stop saying these things, Guinevere. I am sorry,” Arthur said when he met her gaze. “It’s the truth serum. I can’t help it. And you are right. I can’t go wandering through the castle like this. It doesn’t bear contemplating.”

Gwen reached up to caress his cheek with her thumb. She still smiled softly, despite everything Arthur had said to Merlin earlier – which had been pretty unambiguous. Merlin didn’t even want to think about what he had implied. It had left a warm feeling in his stomach, one that he didn’t have any desire to get to the bottom of.

He knew, of course. Hell, he’d known for years. But it didn’t change a thing.

“You are a good queen, Guinevere,” Arthur said and Merlin was glad that he seemed to have shifted his focus – something he probably shouldn’t have thought, because only seconds later, Arthur’s sole attention was back on him.

“Merlin, good old friend,” he said, stepped out of Gwen’s grip and over to him. He leaned forward to watch him closely for a moment, and grinned broadly when he leaned back. “You know, I like your face. I mean – it’s been around all these past years – almost a decade, is it? – so I guess I am just used to it. I can’t even imagine not having it around. Well, having _you_ around; incredibly loyal, unbreakable, _brave_ , absolutely brilliant, … and a bit idiotic – that’s all you. And pretty, too. Isn’t he pretty, Gwen?”

Arthur turned to Gwen and pointed at Merlin’s face. Merlin felt like he was looking like a fish, gaping at Arthur like he’d just lost his mind. And as if that wasn’t enough, he felt another blush creeping to his cheeks.

“Yes,” Gwen said, still calm and soft. “Yes, he is.”

“Those cheekbones.” Arthur reached up to poke his fingers into his cheek. “I love those cheekbones. And he’s so pale! Do you have any idea how easily he gets burned in the sun? And then he has this dark black hair, which is a complete contrast to his pale skin.” His hand wandered up to ruffle his hair and Merlin swallowed hard, his cheeks burning. “And those dark blue eyes… they look a bit like a summer night sky, don’t they? Hmm.”

So Arthur had a little poet in him after all, Merlin thought, looking anywhere but at the man in front of him; the one who apparently found him very pretty. Arthur’s hand wandered back down and his thumb brushed over his lips, causing Merlin to shiver comfortably.

No. This wasn’t good.

“Lips. He drives me crazy with those lips. Actually, he drives me crazy with everything. Stupid, brilliant Merlin.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin saw Gwen bristling for the first time and he really, really couldn’t blame her. This was just too much. Merlin had had no idea that Arthur entertained such thoughts about him – _him_ of all people. He definitely hid it well usually, that much was certain. Then again, maybe it was exactly the reason why he was treating him so roughly sometimes. He was over-compensating. Merlin clenched his fists at his sides and braced himself for was inevitable to come next.

“I want to kiss you, Merlin,” Arthur said and Merlin swallowed, trying his best to ignore the ball of fire in his stomach and the thumping of his heart against his ribcage. This was bad. It was even worse than thinking he was the only one who wanted to engage in such activities. Knowing that the feeling was mutual but not being allowed to act on it was _so much_ worse. Merlin didn’t even dare to look at Gwen. Poor Gwen.

“I want to do that a lot. But I can’t. It’s not appropriate. And I am married. But I do want to. It hurts that I can’t. You are very important to me, Merlin. But I can never show any of that. I really _can’t_ , so I have to treat you like I usually do. So people don’t get any ideas.”

Arthur turned to Gwen, who looked – understandably – a bit like a kicked puppy.

“Guinevere. I do love you, you know that, right?” He said and pulled her over to stand next to Merlin, who still just wanted to make a run for it. “Will you forgive me that I love Merlin, too?”

This was it. Merlin let out a suppressed cry that sounded more like a whimper and stumbled backwards, tears suddenly burning in his eyes and blurring his vision. No. No, no, no. Arthur didn’t love him like that. He _just didn’t_. All those stupid feelings he had were unrequited, always had been and always would be. It was so much easier to think so. Because knowing that Arthur felt just the same about him and they _both_ wanted to, but couldn’t, was almost unbearable.

But it made sense. It made painfully much sense and Merlin felt his heart aching because of it. They were two sides of the same coin. Their destinies were entwined and they each needed the other to be complete; and loving the one that makes you whole didn’t seem so absurd at all. Merlin was magic itself – so some people said – and Arthur was born from magic. They’d been bound together in a way since birth.

They were bound to love each other, in whatever way.

Merlin had soon discovered that he didn’t love Arthur just like a brother or a friend. It was much more and much stronger than that. He _was_ like a brother in a way and like the best friend he had, but more. Merlin loved looking at him and touching him and he just wanted to be close to him, not like a brother or a friend would want to. His love was steady and strong and unconditional, but it also was gentle and longing, and passionate and wild. It was _everything_.

“Merlin?” Gwen and Arthur were both crouching in front of him now. Merlin hadn’t even realized that he was cowering on the ground and whimpering like a baby.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Arthur said truthfully, because he didn’t have a choice.

“What is it, Merlin?” Gwen asked, and she was still so gentle. Merlin couldn’t bear it. How could she be so calm and understanding, when really, Merlin wanted nothing more than steal her husband from her.

“I’m sorry. I-“ Merlin scrambled back up and was about to make a run for the door, but Arthur caught his arm and held him in place.

“We should talk about this,” he said firmly. “The truth serum made me blurt it all out. Now we have to deal with it.”

“I can’t.” Merlin told him just as truthfully, his voice strangled. His heart was racing in his chest, his eyes still watery and his cheeks hot.

“I love two people, Merlin. I have spent years suppressing one. But it hurts. I really love you. It’s like something’s drawing me to you, like a moth drawn to a flame.”

 _It makes so much sense._ The voice in Merlin’s head wouldn’t stop screaming. But no – it couldn’t be.

“You love me too, don’t you? That’s why you are reacting like this. I’m not stupid, Merlin. I may not know what else you’re hiding from me, but this I do know.”

“I, I…” Merlin struggled for words, his eyes darting around the room, but never meeting Arthur’s. He feared what might happened if he did. He found Gwen standing near the window, looking a bit helpless but still steady and calm. If she was sad or hurt she definitely didn’t show it. He looked away again and finally got a glimpse of Arthur’s face. He looked so genuinely sad, honest and loving that Merlin thought for a moment he could physically feel his own heart break.

“What do you want me to say?” Merlin asked hoarsely and stopped breathing for a moment when Arthur touched his chin to force him to look at him.

“The truth, Merlin. Please?”

Scratch everything, this was _the worst_ day ever, Merlin thought then, as he was staring at Arthur and struggling for words, while his heart was beating so hard and fast, he thought it might as well crush his rib cage and jump out of his chest.

He was almost relieved that Gaius chose that moment to come back into the room, closing the door hastily behind him and turning around, obviously about to say something, but stopping when he saw the scene in front of him.

Gwen was still looking a bit helpless, but calm, standing near the window and watching them contemplatively, Arthur was still cupping Merlin’s face in his palm and looking at him expectantly and Merlin was struggling like a captured animal.

Gaius cleared his throat.

“Sire-“ he started, but Arthur shook his head, his eyes never leaving Merlin’s.

“I want an answer first.” He said firmly and Merlin knew he didn’t have a choice. Arthur wouldn’t let him go until he said something. He considered lying for a moment, but letting the king believe that his feelings were unrequited bore the risk of bringing an insurmountable trench between them, formed by heartache and humiliation.

No. There really was no choice.

“Yes. Okay? You are right,” Merlin breathed. “You are… _everything_ , Arthur.”

Arthur finally let go and Merlin took a step back, suddenly feeling like he was about to faint. He gave Gwen an apologetic look, but she just smiled at him, understanding. _How could she smile?_

“ _Now_ I really want to kiss you,” Arthur murmured, but winced the second he said it, turning to look guiltily at Gwen.

Merlin felt Gaius coming up behind him and squeezing his shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I’m sorry, my boy,” he whispered, only for Merlin to hear.

Then he stepped forward and handed Arthur another vial.

“I think it is best for all if you slept through the effect of the truth serum, my Lord.”

Arthur nodded. “Probably. It feels strange. I know I say things I usually wouldn’t say, but I can’t help it. It’s a bit like being drunk. Does it work like that?”

“In a way, Sire.”

“Alright then. Before I humiliate myself any further, I shall spend the day in bed.” Without further ado, Arthur turned to walk over to the bed and slip under the covers, before emptying the vial. Before he fell asleep, he turned his head to meet first Merlin’s, then Gwen’s eyes and said quietly, “Merlin, Guinevere – I truly am sorry. You both deserve better than this.”

And then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

After running through the woods for hours and doing some rather careless magic to cool off a bit, Merlin went to see Gwen in her chambers in the late afternoon. She was leaning against the wall and staring out of the window when Merlin came in and didn’t even bother to look around. He walked up to stand next to her, following her gaze out of the window, watching the people going on about their lives in the courtyard. It was just a perfectly normal day in Camelot. Except it wasn’t.

They stood in companionable silence for a while, until Gwen’s soft voice broke it:

“Remember when you first came to Camelot and we used to talk and joke about Arthur and who’d want to marry him – or that one time, when you asked me if I preferred Arthur or Lancelot? When really, I only had eyes for you? It’s all a bit ironic now, isn’t it?”

Merlin turned his head and smiled a little. “You only had eyes for me?”

“Yes, but you were completely oblivious. I even kissed you that one time – remember? And even then you didn’t get the message.”

“Oh. Yes. I remember. Well, I’m a bit slow sometimes… when it comes to… _these things_.”

Gwen laughed a little. “I know, Merlin. I know.”

She reached out to take his hand and squeeze it gently.

“Who would’ve thought we’d end up like this one day, huh?”

Merlin smiled at that. She was right, of course. When the dragon had first told him about his destiny, he couldn’t imagine anything worse than having it entwined with the destiny of Arthur Pendragon, of all people.

“Yeah… Arthur was such an arse when I first got here - a downright bully! He thought he was above everyone and everything.”

“It was you, you know? You made him better.”

Merlin shrugged, but he knew it was true. Arthur had changed after he’d become his manservant; he’d learned to appreciate people that were actually beneath him and people he’d bullied before. Not that he ever truly stopped bullying _him_. But Merlin had a talent for bullying right back.

“Ahh, I don’t know, I just…” he said humbly, but Gwen shook her head.

“No. It was you. Don’t be so modest.”

“Well, he still likes to bully _me_ , so…”

“But he loves you. He just said so… not that it wasn’t obvious before. There is something about you two… Like, it’s really hard to imagine one without the other.”

Merlin sighed and looked out into the late afternoon sky.

“Tell me about it. Destiny is a persistent thing.”

Gwen looked confused then, and Merlin really couldn’t blame her. But it felt a bit like a day of truth anyway, so why not confess it all? Maybe it was time. Maybe the incident with Arthur had been a sign.

“What destiny?”

“When I first got here, the dragon that was held beneath the castle told me that it was my destiny to protect Arthur, because he is the Once and Future king, the one who would unite Albion. He said our destinies were entwined, that we were two sides of the same coin. First I thought he was joking, because really, Arthur was _such_ an arse. But in time I understood that he was right, because I started to see who Arthur truly was.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “The _dragon_ told you?”

“Yes.” Merlin turned to face her.

“But why? Why you? Why such a great destiny?” she asked, obviously confused by his revelation. “No offense, Merlin, because you’ve always been there at Arthur’s side and I know you’ve saved his life a few times, but – why is it you that is supposed to protect him? You are still not the… well, _muscliest_ kind of man. Aren’t there men who’d be more suitable to protect him efficiently? Really, I mean no offense. I know you’re just as valuable as any knight could ever be.”

“I know, I understand. But no, no one else could protect him. A knight is useless against a magical attack.”

Gwen started to understand then, Merlin could see it in her eyes.

“But you are not.” It wasn’t a question.

Without a word, Merlin held up his palm and let a blue glowing orb levitate in the air, similar to the one he'd sent to Arthur all those years ago.

“I’m not.”

Gwen laughed softly, gave him an incredulous look and turned to pull him into a tight hug.

“I’m glad he has you, Merlin,” she said quietly, close to his ear. “And it’s okay, you know? As long as it is with you, I don’t mind sharing. And in a way, you had him first anyway.”

She pulled back and Merlin stared at her, not quite sure that he’d understand her correctly. She couldn’t mean what he thought she meant, could she?

Gwen caught the look in his eyes and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

“Look, I know you two love each other and it’s okay. I have loved Lancelot. If he was still here… I’m not sure I would be where I am now. You and Arthur need each other and I understand that. I do. And it’s okay.”

“Okay?” Merlin asked, suddenly feeling a bit insecure.

“It is! Go and kiss him if that’s what you want. I’ll do so, too, if he still wants me to, but – I understand what it means to love Arthur. And Merlin, you shouldn’t have to hold back. And neither should he. I’ll talk to him. We’ll work this out.”

Merlin smiled genuinely and hugged Gwen again. “You’re an angel, Gwen. You sure you didn’t just fall from the sky at one point?”

 

* * *

 

So that’s the way it was: Merlin didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry when he lay in his bed that night. Maybe he wanted both. He had no idea what Arthur would say to him when the truth serum had worn off in the morning. He had no idea what the future would look like, now that Gwen knew and he would have to tell Arthur. And he would tell him, in the morning. He had sworn as much to himself. The incident with the truth serum had been a sign that he couldn’t ignore – and he didn’t want to anymore, either. He’d tell Arthur the truth, even if that meant he wouldn’t love him anymore afterwards. He had to take that risk. Magic was a part of him – it was what defined him more than anything. And if Arthur couldn’t love him with his magic, then he couldn’t love him at all.

It had been a dreadful day, really; one that had changed their lives forever. But then, it was always easier to call the truth dreadful, because it had a habit of throwing every one out of their comfort zones. But maybe Gaius’ mistake had been exactly what they’d needed. Maybe it wasn’t so terrible at all that the truth was finally out. Maybe it was a good thing – a good thing that made Merlin want to bury himself – but a good thing nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

When Merlin barged in to Arthur’s rooms the next day, the king was already awake and dressed, pacing by the window. He spun around as soon as Merlin entered and – was that a blush on his cheeks?

“Merlin!” he said as he walked towards him.

“Arthur.” Merlin felt his heart speeding up in his chest and skipping a beat when Arthur grabbed his shoulders to look him firmly in the eyes.

“I suppose there’s nothing left to be said, is there?” he said softly and Merlin gave him a small smile.

“There is. One thing. You wanted to know what I’m hiding from you and I… I’m sick of hiding. You deserve to know.”

Arthur’s eyes lit up for a moment and Merlin swallowed. He was sure Arthur would be mad at him, he just hoped he wouldn’t be mad enough to put him on the stake. Arthur let go and stepped back, looking at him expectantly.

Merlin took a deep breath and braced himself, his heart rate suddenly much slower than he had expected it to be.

“You and I, we have a destiny. You, Arthur, are the Once and Future King, the one who will unite Albion and I… I am supposed to protect you and help you bring the kingdoms to a golden age.”

Arthur frowned and Merlin knew why, of course he did. Smirking incredulously, he asked, “ _You_? Are supposed to protect me? How?”

Merlin ignored him and just continued saying what he’d planned to say:

“I didn’t know when I first got here. But the dragon called me and he told me that it was my destiny to be at your side and protect you from every friend and foe that tries to hurt you. I didn’t believe him at first, but… I knew deep down he was telling the truth. And I knew for sure when I saved your life for the first time.”

“The dragon _called_ you?” Arthur looked like he was about to burst into laughter, but Merlin just nodded.

“Yes. We owe Kilgharrah greatly.”

“Kilgharrah?”

“That’s his name.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “The dragon that attacked Camelot?”

“Your father kept him imprisoned for more than 20 years. Wouldn’t you be angry, too? But yes. I commanded him to go and leave Camelot alone, though. He won’t ever attack again and he’s been of great help to me ever since – and before.”

“You commanded him?”

“That I did. Hey! First revelation: I’m a dragon lord. Surprise!” Merlin tried to sound light, but anxiety was bubbling just beneath the surface of his voice.

“ _You_ are a dragon lord?” Arthur looked like he didn’t believe that for a second, just like Merlin had known he would. Arthur just was a stubborn arse sometimes – and really, he rarely ever believed him when he told him anything. “Then why did you let us search for that other dragon lord – the one that was supposed to be the last?”

“I wasn’t one yet. The gift is passed on from father to son. When Balinor… died, he passed it on to me. He was my father, Arthur.”

Arthur gaped at him, looking for any sign that Merlin was joking, but he was deadly serious. After a few moments, he let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair.

“He was your father? Gods Merlin, why didn’t you just tell me? And I told you not to cry! It all makes sense now. That’s why you were so upset.”

“I’m sorry. But I couldn’t. It was the first time I ever met him… he… he didn’t even know I existed until I told him. Gaius said your father would regard the son of a dragon lord with high suspicion. I couldn’t risk being send to exile and away from you.”

Arthur shook his head and reached out to squeeze Merlin’s shoulder comfortingly.

“No, Merlin. _I_ am sorry. Truly.”

Merlin bit his lip, relieved that the first part of his revelation went better than he’d expected, but still anxious about the bigger part of it all.

“So that was what you were hiding? But… I still don’t understand the whole destiny thing. How are _you_ supposed to protect me? So apparently you can command dragons – which really, I have to see first – but you’re still _… just Merlin_. Not that this is a bad thing. You know it’s not.” Arthur was looking at Merlin with a mix of confusion, disbelief and fondness and Merlin swallowed hard. He’d waited years for the moment of truth, but he had also feared it. He had no way of predicting how Arthur would react.

“It’s a part of what I was hiding. I was… I was born with a gift. A gift that is an essential part of me and that I struggled with for years until I got here and met Gaius… and the dragon. He told me it had a purpose. And that purpose is to protect you. That’s what I use it for – for you, Arthur. Only for you.”

The frown was back on Arthur’s face and Merlin met his eyes cautiously.

“A gift? What gift?”

Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again and locking them on Arthur’s.

“I have magic. I’m a sorcerer.”

It was out. And Merlin let out a relieved breath, waiting for Arthur to react. The king regarded him closely for a few moments, before – bursting into loud laughter.

“Very funny, Merlin. Can’t you just _tell me_? Seriously, what is so bad that you have to put on a charade like this?” he snorted, but Merlin just gave him a sad look and shook his head. Arthur’s laughter slowly faded.

“Oh, come on. This is ridiculous. Merlin, you do not have magic. I would know,” he said, still sounding playful, but with a new edge in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Arthur,” Merlin said quietly and held up his palm, creating the same blue orb he’d shown Gwen the day before. His eyes were glowing for a moment and Arthur’s face fell. “I use it only to protect you. You have no idea how many times I saved your life with it. I… I’m sorry.”

“You have magic,” Arthur said slowly, his voice low and hoarse. “All these years, Merlin.”

His eyes followed the blue orb, wide with wonder and caution. “I’ve seen one of these before. So that was you, then.” It wasn’t a question.

When his eyes met Merlin’s again, Merlin winced at the disappointment directed at him. “You've lied to me for all these years. You made me believe you’re an idiot – an idiot with bright moments whom I grew quite fond of, mind you, but an idiot. Useless in a battle, when all this time… you were more capable than any of us. Especially against Morgana.”

He paused and stared at him, a thought crossing his mind. “How good are you? What can you do?”

“I…” Merlin started. He hated this. He hated to boast with his powers, but he knew his destiny and he knew what he was capable of. He still had a lot to learn, but he knew he was stronger than Morgana. And Morgana feared him. That was a crucial advantage.

“Our destiny is widely known amongst magic users… the druids, especially. They call me Emrys. They say… they say I’m the most powerful sorcerer ever to walk the earth, that I’m… magic itself. I don’t know about that. I just… I know I can do well. And I know that I’m more powerful than Morgana, even though I have yet to learn a lot.”

“Merlin.” It sounded more like a breath than a word and before Merlin could react, Arthur pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his neck. Merlin felt his hot breath on his skin and he shivered, relaxing into his embrace. It had come to unexpected, though, that Merlin had no idea what to make of it.

“Morgana fears Emrys,” Merlin said, just because he thought Arthur should know. “But she doesn’t know who Emrys is.”

Arthur pulled back a little to be able to look at Merlin, but still stayed close. He let out a quiet, incredulous laugh and shook his head a little. “We can do it. We can defeat her. Merlin, do you understand what this means? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Um, because you hate magic and would’ve chopped my head off? Still not sure about its safety now.”

“I…” Arthur shook his head “Never, Merlin, _never_. I understand that you didn’t tell me when my father was still alive… he didn’t care about you, if he’d found out… I know. But when I became king – why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because _I am_ the old sorcerer, Arthur. It was a disguise. I tried to save your father, but Morgana came first and… well, you thought I killed him and hated magic even more than before. Not a good time to tell you, was it?”

Arthur just nodded slowly and pulled Merlin back into his arms.

“I’m sorry about how I treated you,” he said softly, close to his ear. “And what I said yesterday… well, you know it was the truth. That still stands. Magic or no magic.”

Merlin blinked as he started to feel tears welling up in his eyes. He’d thought Arthur would hate him. He’d feared he would never forgive him. But this – he hadn’t expected him to react like _this_ at all _._

“Really?” he asked, voice quavering.

Arthur let go again and stepped back, smirking.

“You’re really the old crow? It all makes sense now. All those strange comments… You let me _carry_ you!”

Merlin shrugged and grinned wryly. “Well, maybe I enjoyed it a bit more than I should’ve.”

Arthur shook his head and reached up to cup Merlin’s cheek in his hand.

“You’re unbelievable.”

Then he stepped forward, shoved Merlin back against the door and captured his lips with his, kissing him slowly and deeply, his tongue brushing over Merlin’s full lower lip. Merlin gasped in surprise, but responded quickly, pressing back against him and wrapping his arms tightly around Arthur’s waist. It was a passionate, but slow kiss, deep and full of longing. It was just like a first kiss was supposed to be and the best Merlin ever had. His heart was hammering against his ribcage and his stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies; for a moment he even thought he could fly.

Merlin didn’t want it to end. Kissing Arthur felt _so right_. Nothing had ever felt more right.

Arthur broke the kiss after a few minutes, but stayed close, panting for breath. He met Merlin’s eyes and smiled fondly.

Merlin tightened his grip around his waist just a little and placed another short peck on his lips. He knew he was probably grinning like an idiot.

“I’m still mad at you, you know?” Arthur said, but his voice betrayed him.

“You have every right to be,” Merlin breathed, still a bit breathless.

“ _This_ was amazing, though. I never…”

Merlin cocked his head. “You never what?”

Arthur ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply, pushing out of Merlin’s embrace.

“I never felt anything like this before. Not even remotely. But you, _Mer_ lin, you… you drive me crazy. Completely mad.”

Merlin snorted. “Likewise. You have no idea.”

Arthur shook his head, a grin dancing around his lips.

“You’re an idiot, Merlin.”

“And you are a prat.”

And then Arthur’s lips were back on Merlin’s and really, it felt like it had always been supposed this way. Merlin and Arthur. Arthur and Merlin. Two sides of the same coin.

 

Maybe not so dreadful at all, Merlin thought.

No, definitely not.

Merlin had seen a lot during his time in Camelot.

Kissing Arthur might add to that long list of crazy things he’d seen and done, but it was the one thing he truly had no regrets about. It was the one thing he never wanted to end.

 

* * *

 

  **3 months later:**

“Arthur, what are you doing?” Merlin asked as Arthur dragged him away from their camp and the sleeping knights. (Well, and a wide-awake Gwaine who had just given Merlin a suggestive wink when the king had stammered out a weak excuse to drag him away.) He stopped when they were out of sight, but still within earshot, pushed Merlin against a tree and crushed his lips to his before Merlin even had a chance to react. Merlin gasped in surprise, his heart skipping a beat when he felt Arthur’s lips pressing hard against his. He needed a few moments before he responded, moaning quietly and kissing him back longingly.

They’d been kissing for a long while after Merlin’s magic revelation, but then Arthur had decided to be a prat again and sent him away and had ignored him for a whole week. _A week! After kissing his lips swollen!_ Merlin assumed it had been his punishment for the whole magic thing, but really – he didn’t even dare to complain. After that first week, Arthur had started talking to him again, but had treated him worse than ever. He’d let him polish his boots twice a day and ordered a bath at every occasion – Merlin felt like he had still sore muscles from that second week of punishment. In the third week, Arthur had made him suffer by teasing him to no end – including those moments in which he came extra close, just to pull back again and leave Merlin’s lips longing for him. Merlin had hoped he was finally done after that week, but then Arthur had started a week of constantly yelling at him and Merlin thought maybe the whole magic revelation had affected him more than he’d first thought after all. But at least he didn’t find himself in the dungeons, so that was a good sign.

After that first month, Arthur had started talking to him again like he had before and even better, treating him like an actual person. He’d apologized for treating him like he’d done a month before and Merlin realized then that he hadn’t forgotten about it. Those four weeks had been his way of processing the fact that Merlin was a sorcerer and had been lying to him for years – and Merlin couldn’t really blame him. They’d both known that Merlin didn’t have to do the stuff he’d wanted him to do. Hell, Merlin didn’t have to do anything anyone said, really. But Merlin did it anyway, because he finally wanted to make things right between them.

Arthur had still been distant for a long while, but he’d asked Merlin to show him his magic and they’d been talking a lot and their relationship had constantly become better and better again over the course of two months.

So now, this was their first kiss after three months and it’d come so surprising that Merlin felt his head spinning. They broke apart when they were both in desperate need of air, but Arthur still held Merlin firmly pressed against the tree.

“I’m going to say this once and only once, so better pay attention,” he said and Merlin cocked his head, grinning.

“Of course, my Lord.”

“ _Mer_ lin.” Arthur’s voice was shaking slightly and Merlin’s grin transformed into a soft smile. “You are an idiot.”

Merlin couldn’t help it. “Yeah, you say that quite often.”

“And I love you.”

Arthur let out a breath and met Merlin’s eyes, which were suddenly brimming with happy tears. He smiled broadly and leaned forward to press a kiss against Arthur’s lips, before whispering, “I love you too, you prat.”

Arthur smiled into their next kiss and once again, Merlin felt he was about to just fly away, because he felt so happy and light. Just for that small moment, nothing else mattered.

“I’m married and _this_ is not going to be easy.” Arthur said sternly when he pulled away again. “Guinevere knows, of course, ever since that fateful day, and she told me she was okay with it. I believe her, but I still don’t want to hurt her. She deserves better. So I want to keep this quiet. Understood?”

Merlin nodded. “Yes, Sire.”

“And stop calling me that.” Arthur said firmly and Merlin grinned.

“Why, Sire?”

“Oh, shut up, _Mer_ lin.”

 

And shut up he did, but only because Arthur’s lips didn’t give him a choice.

Maybe he would thank Gaius one day.

 

FIN


End file.
